The Assumption of Mary in The Divine Liturgy of the Maronites

 

Friday Fun

 J. Reginald Von Dandepantz was serving a 5-7 year stretch at Rikers for Illegally Selling Time Shares, a Federal Fraud Felony, and he ended up having to serve more than the anticipated sentence of 1-2 years when, during the sentencing phase of his trial, the judge asked him if he had any words to say in his defense:

Well, your honor, I have to say that the thoughts in my head are spinning faster than the tires of Steven Hawking's wheelchair were spinning when he got trapped on the I 95 entrance ramp in Fort Kent, Maine during an ice storm in February of 1996.

Hawking was in Fort Kent to deliver his Keynote Address "I just made-up that Black Hole shit" at the third annual Bunsen Burner Boys Bash at Bohunk Bob's BBQ, Fish Bait, and Guns n' Bullets All You Can Eat Buffet.

This did not sit well with the Judge whose nephew, Timmy, had been the victim of a vicious attack by a rabid raccoon that left poor Tiny Tim a Crippled Cub Scout and it was only one week after the tragedy (and exactly two weeks before the Dandepantz trial began) that the mayor of Madawaska, Maine Lucien "Squeaky" Allouette, declared he would award a Ninja Warrior Bacon Badge to any person who successfully cooked bacon atop their metal lunch box solely using solar heat.

The entry fee is $25.00 per person and the participant must camp out the entire night and not pee out from inside of their tents because that is dangerous and dirty and there may be Brownies in the area.

After scolding Dandepantz for his very lame attempt to spin the felony fraud he was about to take the rap for - Hell, man- being forced to listen to that lame excuse is like being forced to watch Hawking trying to work the trampoline- the judge went on to describe the seriousness of the charge against Dandepantz:

This is no damn joke, buster. You paid to advertise in the Bangor Daily News your crummy scheme to seduce the good people of the great state of Maine, from Bucksport to Jonestown Beale, into arriving at your so-called membership drive to participate in an exclusive Rural Resort Time Share Program that turned out to be nothing more than a partially deflated Bounce House in the back yard of your Aunt Debbah's camp at Molasses Pond.

And for that pathetic excuse for a Rural Resort Time Share Program, you charged each participant $150.00.

Therefore, by the power vested in me by former Governor Paul LePage - who is now a Bar Tender who makes a wicked car bomb - I sentence you, J. Reginald Von Dandepantz, to 5-7 years in Rikers, ya bastid.


And the rest, as they say is history.

It was while at Rikers that J. Reginald Von Dandepantz developed his justly famous Prison Recipes Cookbook that is now selling faster than small tin foil packets of cocaine - and for a lot less too.

Here is the most requested recipe from Mr. Von Dandepantz cookbook, Cell Block C Casserole.

Steal three medium sized eggs from the Commissary (You may have to French Kiss Louie the Lip to get these and even though he "identifies as a girl" that bastid ain't ).

Anyways, beat the eggs like they are a stoolie, and slip them into one leg of your prison pants with a mouse you captured, after first tying off that pant leg with that length of rope you were saving to maybe hang yourself, and then run the circumference of your cell six times while slapping the wall with your pant leg as hard as you can.

Then, once you have done that, put your pants on the prison radiator and in the morning you will have a very nice warm and tasty casserole.

Many modern putative Catholics (They call themselves traditionalists) think Lefebvrism is a good schism

What did the Early Church Fathers teach about schism? 

https://thehistoricfaith.com/early-christian-beliefs/schism

Marks of the Church - Catechism Council of Trent

 The Marks Of The Church

The distinctive marks of the Church are also to be made known to the faithful, that thus they may be enabled to estimate the extent of the blessing conferred by God on those who have had the happiness to be born and educated within her pale.

"One'

The first mark of the true Church is described in the Nicene Creed, and consists in unity: My dove is one, my beautiful one is one. So vast a multitude, scattered far and wide, is called one for the reasons mentioned by St. Paul in his Epistle to the Ephesians: One Lord, one faith, one baptism.

Unity In Government

The Church has but one ruler and one governor, the invisible one, Christ, whom the eternal Father hath made head over all the Church, which is his body; the visible one, the Pope, who, as legitimate successor of Peter, the Prince of the Apostles, fills the Apostolic chair.

It is the unanimous teaching of the Fathers that this visible head is necessary to establish and preserve unity in the Church. This St. Jerome clearly perceived and as clearly expressed when, in his work against Jovinian, he wrote: One is elected that, by the appointment of a head, all occasion of schism may be removed. In his letter to Pope Damasus the same holy Doctor writes: Away with envy, let the ambition of Roman grandeur cease! I speak to the successor of the fisherman, and to the disciple of the cross. Following no chief but Christ, I am united in communion with your Holiness, that is, with the chair of Peter. I know that on that rock is built the Church. Whoever will eat the lamb outside this house is profane; whoever is not in the ark of Noah shall perish in the .flood.

The same doctrine was long before established by Saints Irenaeus and Cyprian. The latter, speaking of the unity of the Church observes: The Lord said to Peter, I say to thee, Peter! thou art Peter: and upon this rock I will build my Church. He builds His Church on one. And although after His Resurrection He gave equal power to all His Apostles, saying: As the Father hath sent me, I also send you, receive ye the Holy Ghost; yet to make unity more manifest, He decided by His own authority that it should be derived from one alone, etc.

Again, Optatus of Milevi says: You cannot be excused on the score of ignorance, knowing as you do that in the city of Rome the episcopal chair was first conferred on Peter, who occupied it as head of the Apostles; in order that in that one chair the unity of the Church might be preserved by all, and that the other Apostles might not claim each a chair for himself; so that now he who erects another in opposition to this single chair is a schismatic and a prevaricator.

Later on St. Basil wrote: Peter is made the foundation, because he says: Thou art Christ, the Son of the Living God; and hears in reply that he is a rock. But although a rock, he is not such a rock as Christ; for Christ is truly an immovable rock, but Peter, only by virtue of that rock. For Jesus bestows His dignities on others; He is a priest, and He makes priests; a rock, and He makes a rock; what belongs to Himself, He bestows on His servants.

Lastly, St. Ambrose says: Because he alone of all of them professed (Christ) he was placed above all.

Should anyone object that the Church is content with one Head and one Spouse, Jesus Christ, and requires no other, the answer is obvious. For as we deem Christ not only the author of all the Sacraments, but also their invisible minister ­­ He it is who baptises, He it is who absolves, although men are appointed by Him the external ministers of the Sacraments ­­ so has He placed over His Church, which He governs by His invisible Spirit, a man to be His vicar and the minister of His power. A visible Church requires a visible head; therefore the Saviour appointed Peter head and pastor of all the faithful, when He committed to his care the feeding of all His sheep, in such ample terms that He willed the very same power of ruling and governing the entire Church to descend to Peter's successors.

Unity In Spirit, Hope And Faith

Moreover, the Apostle, writing to the Corinthians, tells them that there is but one and the same Spirit who imparts grace to the faithful, as the soul communicates life to the members of the body. Exhorting the Ephesians to preserve this unity, he says: Be careful to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace; one body and one Spirit. As the human body consists of many members, animated by one soul, which gives sight to the eves, hearing to the ears, and to the other senses the power of discharging their respective functions; so the mystical body of Christ, which is the Church, is composed of many faithful. The hope, to which we are called, is also one, as the Apostle tells us in the same place; for we all hope for the same consummation, eternal and happy life. Finally, the faith which all are bound to believe and to profess is one: Let there be no schisms amongst you, says the Apostle. And Baptism, which is the seal of our Christian faith, is also one.

"Holy"

The second mark of the Church is holiness, as we learn from these words of the Prince of the Apostles: You are a chosen generation, a holy nation.

The Church is called holy because she is consecrated and dedicated to God; for so other things when set apart and dedicated to the worship of God were wont to be called holy, even though they were material. Examples of this in the Old Law were vessels, vestments and altars. In the same sense the first­born who were dedicated to the Most High God were also called holy.

It should not be deemed a matter of surprise that the Church, although numbering among her children many sinners, is called holy. For as those who profess any art, even though they depart from its rules, are still called artists, so in like manner the faithful, although offending in many things and violating the engagements to which they had pledged themselves, are still called holy, because they have been made the people of God and have consecrated themselves to Christ by faith and Baptism. Hence, St. Paul calls the Corinthians sanctified and holy, although it is certain that among them there were some whom he severely rebuked as carnal, and also charged with grosser crimes.

The Church is also to be called holy because she is united to her holy Head, as His body; that is, to Christ the Lord,' the fountain of all holiness, from whom flow the graces of the Holy Spirit and the riches of the divine bounty. St. Augustine, interpreting these words of the Prophet: Preserve my soul, for I am holy," thus admirably expresses himself: Let the body of Christ boldly say, let also that one man, exclaiming from the ends of the earth, boldly say, with his Head, and under his Head, I am holy; for he received the grace of holiness, the grace of Baptism and of remission of sins. And a little further on: If all Christians and all the faithful, having been baptised in Christ, have put Him on, according to these words of the Apostle: "As many of you as have been baptised in Christ, have put on Christ"; if they are made members of his body, and yet say they are not holy, they do an injury to their Head, whose members are holy. 

Moreover, the Church alone has the legitimate worship of sacrifice, and the salutary use of the Sacraments, which are the efficacious instruments of divine grace, used by God to produce true holiness. Hence, to possess true holiness, we must belong to this Church. The Church therefore it is clear, is holy, and holy because she is the body of Christ, by whom she is sanctified, and in whose blood she is washed.

"Catholic"

The third mark of the Church is that she is Catholic; that is, universal. And justly is she called Catholic, because, as St. Augustine says, she is diffused by the splendour of one faith from the rising to the setting sun."

Unlike states of human institution, or the sects of heretics, she is not confined to any one country or class of men, but embraces within the amplitude of her love all mankind, whether barbarians or Scythians, slaves or freemen, male or female. Therefore it is written: Thou . . . hast redeemed us to God, in thy blood, out of every tribe, and tongue, and people, and nation, and hast made us to our God a kingdom. Speaking of the Church, David says: Ask of me and I will give thee the Gentiles for thy inheritance, and the utmost parts of the earth for thy possession; and also, I will be mindful of Rahab and of Babylon knowing me; and man is born in her.

Moreover to this Church, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, belong all the faithful who have existed from Adam to the present day, or who shall exist, in the profession of the true faith, to the end of time; all of whom are founded and raised upon the one corner­stone, Christ, who made both one, and announced peace to them that are near and to them that are far.

She is also called universal, because all who desire eternal salvation must cling to and embrace her, like those who entered the ark to escape perishing in the flood.. This (note of catholicity), therefore, is to be taught as a most reliable criterion, by which to distinguish the true from a false Church. 

Apostolic

The true Church is also to be recognised from her origin, which can be traced back under the law of grace to the Apostles; for her doctrine is the truth not recently given, nor now first heard of, but delivered of old by the Apostles, and disseminated throughout the entire world. Hence no one can doubt that the impious opinions which heresy invents, opposed as they are to the doctrines taught by the Church from the days of the Apostles to the present time, are very different from the faith of the true Church.

That all, therefore, might know which was the Catholic Church, the Fathers, guided by the Spirit of God, added to the Creed the word Apostolic. For the Holy Ghost, who presides over the Church, governs her by no other ministers than those of Apostolic succession. This Spirit, first imparted to the Apostles, has by the infinite goodness of God always continued in the Church. And just as this one Church cannot err in faith or morals, since it is guided by the Holy Ghost; so, on the contrary, all other societies arrogating to themselves the name of church, must necessarily, because guided by the spirit of the devil, be sunk in the most pernicious errors, both doctrinal and moral.

Figures of the Church

The figures of the Old Testament have great power to stimulate the minds of the faithful and to remind them of these most beautiful truths. It was for this reason chiefly that the Apostles made use of these figures. The pastor, therefore, should not overlook so fruitful a source of instruction.

Among these figures the ark of Noah holds a conspicuous place. It was built by the command of God, in order that there might be no doubt that it was a symbol of the Church, which God has so constituted that all who enter therein through Baptism, may be safe from danger of eternal death, while such as are outside the Church, like those who were not in the ark, are overwhelmed by their own crimes.

Another figure presents itself in the great city of Jerusalem, which, in Scripture, often means the Church. In Jerusalem only was it lawful to offer sacrifice to God, and in the Church of God only are to be found the true worship and true sacrifice which can at all be acceptable to God.

"I Believe the Holy Catholic Church" 

Finally, with regard to the Church, the pastor should teach how to believe the Church can constitute an Article of faith. Although reason and the senses are able to ascertain the existence of the Church, that is, of a society of men on earth devoted and consecrated to Jesus Christ, and although faith does not seem necessary in order to understand a truth which even Jews and Turks do not doubt; nevertheless it is from the light of faith only, not from the deductions of reason, that the mind can grasp those mysteries contained in the Church of God which have been partly made known above and will again be treated under the Sacrament of Holy Orders. 

Since, therefore, this Article, no less than the others, is placed above the reach, and defies the strength of the human understanding, most justly do we confess that we know not from human reason, but contemplate with the eyes of faith the origin, offices and dignity of the Church.

This Church was founded not by man, but by the immortal God Himself, who built her upon a most solid rock. The Highest himself, says the Prophet, hath founded her. Hence, she is called the inheritance of God, the people of God. The power which she possesses is not from man but from God.

Since this power, therefore, cannot be of human origin, divine faith can alone enable us to understand that the keys of the. kingdom of heaven are deposited with the Church, that to her has been confided the power of remitting sins," of denouncing excommunication, and of consecrating the real body of Christ; and that her children have not here a permanent dwelling, but look for one above.

We are, therefore, bound to believe that there is one Holy Catholic Church. With regard to the Three Persons of the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, we notonly believe them, but also believe in them. But here we make use of a different form of expression, professing to believe the holy, not in the holy Catholic Church. By this difference of expression we distinguish God, the author of all things, from His works, and acknowledge that all the exalted benefits bestowed on the Church are due to God's bounty.

Friday Fun

I wouldn't touch a cliche with a ten foot pole

Why buy the cow when the milk is free

What on God’s green earth is the matter with me

I wouldn’t chase an argument down a rabbit hole

I wouldn’t touch a cliche with a ten foot pole.

Shit out of luck, you can take that to the bank

I slave all day long never get any thanks

Two heads are better than one, two ships passing in the night

Two left feet, two wrongs don’t make a right

Why buy the cow when the milk is free

What on God’s green earth is the matter with me

I wouldn’t chase an argument down a rabbit hole

I wouldn’t touch a cliche with a ten foot pole.

You’ve more problems that Carter’s got pills

Cause you’re an old bastid, older than the hills

That look you shoot me gives me the chills

The end of the month I got nothing but bills

Why buy the cow when the milk is free

What on God’s green earth is the matter with me

I wouldn’t chase an argument down a rabbit hole

I wouldn’t touch a cliche with a ten foot pole.

You don’t have a leg to stand on

Welcome to my hell

That’s not your mother’s helper 

Its the farmer in the dell

Why buy the cow when the milk is free

What on God’s green earth is the matter with me

I wouldn’t chase an argument down a rabbit hole

I wouldn’t touch a cliche with a ten foot pole.

Fortune favors the bold

All that glitters’ is not gold

Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed

Me luck is so bad I’d be better off dead

He’s brave as a lion but weak as a kitten

A blivet is a turd hidden in a mitten

The first time I saw her I was smitten

Someday imma marry her, I aint shittin

Why buy the cow when the milk is free

What on God’s green earth is the matter with me

I wouldn’t chase an argument down a rabbit hole

I wouldn’t touch a cliche with a ten foot pole

Cut thin to win, that's where it's at

that girl is hot, she is PHAT

one man's junk is another man's treasure

there's more to life than chasing pleasure

I'm burning a candle at both ends

I've only acquaintances, not one real friend.

Don't count yer chickens before they hatch 

You and that slut ain't a good match

Why buy the cow when the milk is free

what on God's green earth is the matter with me

I wouldn't chase an argument down a rabbit hole 

I wouldn't touch a cliche with a ten foot pole.

Blessing a sin crying to heaven for vengeance

 

Were Sodom and Gomorrah (and three other cities) destroyed because of sodomy?

 

 Wisdom 10 ] She delivered the just man who fled from the wicked that were perishing, when the fire came down upon Pentapolis: [7] Whose land for a testimony of their wickedness is desolate, and smoketh to this day, and the trees bear fruits that ripen not, and a standing pillar of salt is a monument of an incredulous soul. [8] For regarding not wisdom, they did not only slip in this, that they were ignorant of good things, but they left also unto men a memorial of their folly, so that in the things in which they sinned, they could not so much as lie hid. [9] But wisdom hath delivered from sorrow them that attend upon her. [10] She conducted the just, when he fled from his brother's wrath, through the right ways, and shewed him the kingdom of God, and gave him the knowledge of the holy things, made him honourable in his labours, and accomplished his labours. 

[6] "The just man": Lot.-- Ibid.

[6] "Pentapolis": The land of the five cities, Sodom, Gomorrha, etc

Saint Bonaventure on the destruction of the Pentapolis for Sodomy:

She delivered the just man who fled from the wicked that were perishing. Here he shows the benefit of the wisdom given to the person of Lot when he was delivered from the destruction of Sodom, and, firstly, he treats of the deliverance of Lot; secondly, the punishment of the others: when the fire came down upon Pentapolis; thirdly, the equity of the punishment: For regarding not wisdom, they did not only slip in this, that they were ignorant of good things.

(Verse 6). She, namely, wisdom, the just man, ‘namely, Lot’ as a Gloss[520] says; also 2 Peter 2:8 says of him: ‘In sight and hearing he was just’; from the wicked that were perishing, namely, from association with the wicked who were perishing, that is, of the people of Sodom; She delivered the just man who fled, also from association with sin, according to 2 Peter 2:7: ‘And delivered just Lot, oppressed by the injustice and lewd conduct of the wicked’ and from association with punishment; Genesis 19:14ff. speaks of both deliverances. When the fire came down, sent from heaven not from earth; Genesis 19:24: ‘The Lord rained upon Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven’; upon Pentapolis, Gloss[521]: ‘That is, in the region of the five towns’, namely, Sodom, Gomorrah, Bela, Zeboiim and Admah.

(Verse 7). To whom, namely, to those perishing, for a testimony of their wickedness, their ardent and fetid lust, that smokes, by putting out smoke from itself; so in Psalm 17:9: ‘There went up a smoke in his wrath’; whose land is desolate, namely, of plants and trees; Job 28:5: ‘The land, out of which bread grew in its place, has been burnt[522]by fire’; also Psalm 106:34: ‘A fruitful land into barrenness, for the wickedness of them that dwell therein’. And at a certain,[523] namely, determined, time trees bearing fruit of no value, as is said, because in that place fruits are produced that are externally beautiful but within are burnt up like ashes; Gloss[524]: ‘They illustrate that without the fruit of penitence souls will burn in hell for eternity’. And a pillar, that is, a statue of salt, so that all who hear and see are seasoned  with the salt of wisdom against the corruption of carnal concupiscence or foolishness; I say, a pillar standing as a monument, that is, a record; Luke 17:32: ‘Remember Lot’s wife’; a monument, I say, of an incredulous soul, that is, of the disbelief of Lot’s wife[525] who looked back, being unwilling to believe the Angel who forbade this, as is clear in Genesis 19:17 and 26.

Note here that the desolate land is a witness to them of the worthlessness of their good works; smoke, of their blindness from carnal concupiscence; fruits that ripen not, of their evil way of life; the pillar of salt, of their outpouring of carnal concupiscence and their corruptive[526] rottenness.   

   (Verse 8). For wisdom, as if to say: and they are rightly punished in this way; for regarding not wisdom, that is, The people of Sodom rejecting it and so they are unhappy; so above in Wisdom 3:11: For those who reject wisdom, and discipline, are unhappy; so they perished in accord with Baruch 3:28: ‘Because they had not wisdom, they perished through their folly’; not only did they perish because they bypassed wisdom, but they left also unto all a memorial of their folly. And this is what follows: they did not only slip in this, that they were ignorant of good things. I say, for regarding not wisdom, they did not only slip in this, that they were ignorant, an ignorance of which 1 Corinthians 14:38 says: ‘But a person who knows not, shall not be known’; good things, namely, what pertains to life and one’s own salvation. But of their folly, because ‘they are compared to senseless beasts and have become like to them’;[527] they left also unto all a memorial of their folly, in an evil reputation, so that in the things in which they sinned, that is, in the sins they committed, they could not so much as lie hid, but they sinned publicly; Isaiah 3:9: ‘They proclaimed abroad their sin as Sodom, and they have not hid it’. So the Lord wanted their sins to be made public to the whole world by their public punishment.